Agnosticism: I don't know, and that's okay

I am an agnostic.

But what is agnosticism in short?

It is not faith like theism.

It is not denial like atheism.

It is simply... I don't know.

Now tell me... if there is a God, will He/She/They/It punish me for admitting my limits?

Will the divine strike me down just because I said "I don't know" while still trying to live as valid a human as possible... following the Constitution, even questioning it when needed?

I don't think so...

I had a theist phase. I mean, I prayed without doubt. And it gave me comfort.

Then came my atheist phase. I thought rituals were chains. I thought rejecting God was progress.

But aren't opposite poles bound to create friction?

That friction forced me to think deeper.

Because theism... let's be brutally honest... it does something no law, no government, and no constitution can do.

When rules fail, faith still controls.

I mean, isn't it when everything slips out of human hands... maybe sickness, loss, despair... it is often faith that gives people the strength to keep standing, no? Isn't that why theism naturally shaped society? Not because humans were weak, but because faith filled the space where nothing else could.

And atheism? Of course it has value.

It breaks superstition.

It questions blind obedience.

It builds courage in science and reason.

But atheism too claims certainty, no? ...I mean, "There is nothing."

How is that really different from a theist saying, "There is everything"?

Both speak with finality in a universe none of us truly understand.

Then there is culture, on the other hand... I mean, the good culture that floated naturally over centuries.

Festivals, temples, traditions, and all... these are not just about God.

They give identity. They bind communities. They carry memory from one generation to another.

Losing good culture is like losing good identity... Basically, we lose ourselves, I feel.

But then comes this superstition... That is completely different.. 

I mean, fear of curses. Rituals without meaning. Blind submission.

Those keep us stuck.

Preserving culture and rejecting superstition are not opposites. They are balance, and we must understand that hairline difference.

And yes, I wear the Ayyappa mala. I visit temples. Sometimes even other places of faith.

So, people ask such people... "If you're agnostic, why the mala? Why the tilak?"

My answer is simple: Some do it for peace of mind. For discipline, just like me. For 41 days, I remind myself I can still control my own habits. For silence. For humility.

A temple visit for me is not fear of divine punishment. It is good culture. (I questioned many times and I question the superstitions, suppression, discrimination, and all such; even on Mala, there is no doubt about it... and can be any religion.)

So here I stand. Not a theist. Not an atheist.

"Agnostic"

I don't know if God exists or not. And I don't need to either... Basically, I don't know, and that's okay.

I honestly feel that this is a way forward for peaceful coexistence and advancement. 

Live. Long. India.